Step by step...

I named this poem after my mum's school for special needs children - Step by Step Learning Centre. I would like to dedicate it to her - my amazing mother Margaret Kenyi, and my beautiful eldest sister Ruth Kenyi.

Step by Step...

I remember it like it was yesterday 

As sighs frequented her breath

And quakes rippled her voice

My mother

She struggled not to cry as she gave recount in reply

To my impossible yet inevitable inquiry

Why?

Why did my beautiful eldest sister Ruth come to be autistic?

Ruth –in Hebrew it means companion, friend, vision of beauty

A name so befitting for my family's beloved ruby

Born healthy, a day in July, an angel in disguise- my parent’s first child, she opened her eyes

Then at the tender age of only two, a tragic event she and my parents went through

My sister had a severe allergic reaction to a vaccination which made her windpipes swell up obstructing her airway

She endured over 10 minutes without oxygen to her brain

And unfortunately this caused her to sustain

Permanent brain damage

I will never forget that unbearable conversation with my mother

My heart crumbled as I watched the tears flow down from her eyes

So later that night in bed I took up my impossible inquiry with Ruth’s other and ultimate creator - God

In an unmatched fury I hurled questions at Him

Where?

Where were you when my mother cried out to you in her suffering?

Didn't you say you knew us before we were born?

Didn't you say you pre-destined us before we were even conceived?

Then how?

How could you allow my sister's purpose to be stolen from her?!

Why her and not me?

Is she not also your child?!

My child – some things you weren't meant to understand

Some things are meant to be kept between only your sister and I

I DID know and pre-destine her before she was born

In fact I knew and predestined your mother before SHE was born too

I heard her that day in the hospital when she cried out to me

She asked me to send her an angel to save her baby

And I did

But that doctor was not the only angel I sent her

Tell your mother I sent her baby Ruth as an angel too

To save other mothers and their special needs babies…. through her…your mother…she is strong, and beautiful

Tell your mother I am so proud of her

Tell her she is doing an amazing job with the school she initiated for children with learning disabilities

She has sacrificed for those babies more than anyone will ever know –

Tell your mother she too is an angel

And tell your motherthat I, am El Roi – the God who sees

I see now that your hand was at work through everything my God

I see now that you used the broken road that my mother walked to bless others

It’s ironic that she named her special school Step by Step Learning Centre

I see now that life itself is a step by step journey to purpose

And to purpose your journey will lead YOU my child

Your journey- will be different

Encased with sufferings and sacrifices of its own

But you must always remember that I will only allow what you can bare

So that I can build you up along the journey

So that you can build others up along their journey

In hopes that they too will know that they have been called  

They have been called… just like you have been called my child… as part of my bride… to live a life worthy of your calling… persevering through suffering and sacrifice

As I, your husband, was, am, and will always be THE ultimate sacrifice

My sacrifice, I will stand as a labourer for your cause

I will affiliate my mission with the great co-mission

And marry my vision to your greater vision

And what a visionary you are my saviour– to see us now, all of us, each member of your church in all our faults, yet still view us through the eyes of the potential we have…

Each life with purpose

ALL life has purpose

And to purpose my journey will lead me

Go with me oh God of my strength

And in the face of suffering and sacrifice

I will continue on...

...Step by step...  

Sarah Kenyi © 2014

If you are interested, you can visit my mother's school's website at: http://www.sslc-tz.com/

Vulnerable

I lay bare

Vulnerable

Like many virgins on their first night

Controversially exposing the very intricacies of my soul

And though unsure about forsaking my ego for truth

I choose to unveil in hopes of intimacy with you

I have heard this level of courage is not for the faint of heart

But I am fed up of being afraid, and I am also not a fake!
We are at our most pure, when from our dressing we depart

So I lay bare

Vulnerable

In to me see

And if it so happens that you don’t like what you see

It’s okay.

Eventually, the truth will achieve it's infinite purpose

So although I’ll have to walk away,

I’ll walk away being able to say:

“I fought for truth,

I fought for truth,

And now, I am free.”

Sarah Kenyi © 2014

Dear misfit

Dear misfit

I want you to know that you are genius

But you've been institutionalized to believe otherwise
Because of society's natural propensity to villainze people that are different
And so you are labeled socially awkward and weird
Rejected and misunderstood sometimes even by those closest to you
But you mustn't let this change you
Infact let it motivate you to flourish into the best version of you that you can be
Because you, dear misfit, are genius!


Sarah Kenyi © 2014

My friend

My friend

A phrase frequently ascribed however sometimes misspent

A praise of high esteem when in sincerity said

Like the tale of King David, whom Jonathan so loved

True friendship emulates covenant and personal regard

My friend

I experienced much laughter and liberty with you

To crave such intimacy is something I have been known to do

Our friendship grew and I cherished moments spent with you

This is why I write this ode to you

My friend

We confused one another in the chaos of our emotions

Wallowing in misconceptions and unspoken truths 

Each slowly withdrawing whilst pushing the other away

We didn’t know how to communicate

My friend

I lost my friend

My friend

I will always love you

Sarah Kenyi © 2014