Stockholm Syndrome

I stay because leaving feels like failure

Like loss of a love I am yet to know
A love I’ve been longing for

Your sweet nothings are proof enough
They make me forget the times you hurt me

Violated and continuously manipulate me

But the highs are electric 
Fire! Like the Dream’s Falsetto 
Ecstasy! A premonition of what could be

A beautiful fantasy 

And lows are inevitable

Pleasure and pain go together 

Sometimes you need to refill your cup 

You’re not actually neglecting me

So I will stay

Clinging to you 
To the promise of change 

And the illusion that our bond is true

• Sarah Kenyi © 2025

Grey Clouds

Grey clouds form shadows that crawl across my skin
These clouds don’t wait for thunder
They’re breaking within
Still, I trek in the pouring rain
Hoping to make progress again and again

They say, “Slow down, take a break”
But I’ve been wired to smile through the pain 

And call it corporate game
The boss demands sunshine and clear skies
Despite the forecasted rain

This pressure to constantly perform is a product of fear
Fear of rejection, of losing love and acceptance once earned
Fear of confrontation, and the guilt that gnaws when I dare to set a boundary
Fear of my own power

And so I continue to wear the mask
While choking subtly under the pressure
Trying to prove my worth
Trying to prove I deserve more
Trying to appease my foes

While betraying me

Is the trade-off worth it?

I’ve forgotten how to be free.

• Sarah Kenyi © 2025