The Fire We Make

I can't help but recall
The way our bodies collide,
When infinite chemistry erupts
Without warning or inhibition.

We conjure deep pleasures,

Every shudder a revelation,

Every sigh a confession

Every mission accomplished.

You are a vision of a man,

Fine! And well equipped,

With clinical technique,

Too legit to quit.

For the fire we make

Burns with wild desire;

Though the flames may singe,

They’ll rise again, higher and higher and higher!

- Sarah Kenyi © 2025

Stockholm Syndrome

So I will stay with you

Because leaving feels like failure

Like loss of a love I am yet to know

A love I’ve been longing for

Your sweet nothings 

Are proof enough

They make me forget the times you violated me

Or how you manipulate me

You hurt me

…But this is not abuse…

Relationships are difficult 

Highs and lows are inevitable

Pleasure and pain are one in the same 

And contrary to what they say 

You are not a threat 

I just need to give it time 

To give you time 

To learn how to love you

So you can love me 

You do love me

And you need me

And you’re not the only one to blame 

I’m stubborn and I also have a temper

My tantrums are provocative

And my anger? Explosive!

And besides, the make up sex is great

Fire! Like The-Dream’s Falsetto 

Ecstasy! A premonition of what could be

A beautiful fantasy!

So I will stay with you

Clinging to you 

To the hope and promises of change 

And the delusions that this bondage 

I mean that this bond… is true

• Sarah Kenyi © 2025

Grey Clouds

Grey clouds form shadows that crawl across my skin
These clouds don’t wait for thunder
They’re breaking within
Still, I trek in the pouring rain
Hoping to make progress again and again

They say, “Slow down, take a break”
But I’ve been wired to smile through the pain 

And call it corporate gain

It’s a game 

And you can’t hate the players 

The boss demands sunshine and clear skies

So work harder 

And be cunning - cut-throat even

You’ve got a job to do

You are blessed with a job to do

Shut up! And be more grateful 

This pressure to constantly perform is a product of fear
Fear of rejection, of losing love and acceptance once earned
Fear of confrontation, and the guilt that gnaws when I dare to set a boundary
Fear of my own power

And so I continue to wear the mask
While choking subtly under the pressure
Trying to prove my worth
Trying to prove I deserve more
Trying to appease my foes

While betraying me

Is the trade-off worth it?

I’ve forgotten how to be free.

• Sarah Kenyi © 2025

Absent fathers

I once loved a man who grew up with an absent father

And he was beautiful

The kind of beautiful you only notice when you see through the pain someone carries

His heart had been broken by his hero

I could see it bleeding underneath his facade

He never stopped grieving his dad

But somewhere between boyhood and manhood the grief hardened

Bitterness took root as he navigated life alone

Figuring out how to be a man without a compass

He buried the pain. Ignored it. Locked it away.

Choosing stoicism over vulnerability because it felt less dangerous. It felt less.

So when love showed up, my love, he turned it away

He couldn’t be vulnerable enough to receive it,

That would be too risky.

And so the man I once loved built impeccable walls

The kind that say come close but push you away when you come too close

Avoidant. Guarded. Always halfway gone.

I still think about him sometimes

I wonder if he’s still carrying everything alone

I hope he isn’t still numbing his pain with coping mechanisms 

I hope his fear of rejection doesn’t continue to choose loneliness

I hope he learns how to unlearn the notions that hardened him

To relearn how to be vulnerable, and how to be seen

And finally, for both their sakes,

I hope the man I once loved can forgive his father 

And end the cycle of broken men - from broken men…

The cycle of absent fathers.

Sarah Kenyi © 2025