Grey Clouds

Grey clouds form shadows that crawl across my skin
These clouds don’t wait for thunder
They’re breaking within
Still, I trek in the pouring rain
Hoping to make progress again and again

They say, “Slow down, take a break”
But I’ve been wired to smile through the pain 

And call it corporate gain

It’s a game 

And you can’t hate the players 

Despite the thundering rain

The boss only rewards 

Sunshine and clear skies

So work harder 

And be cunning - cut-throat even

You’ve got a job to do

So shut up and be grateful 

This pressure to constantly perform is a product of fear
Fear of rejection, of losing love and acceptance once earned
Fear of confrontation, and the guilt that gnaws when I dare to set a boundary
Fear of my own power

And so I continue to wear the mask
While choking subtly under the pressure
Trying to prove my worth
Trying to prove I deserve more
Trying to appease my foes

While betraying me

Is the trade-off worth it?

I’ve forgotten how to be free.

• Sarah Kenyi © 2025